The Questions Every Woman Should Ask at Her First Oncology Appointment

By Kelly Rovetto, Founder of Re-Femme

When you first hear the words “you have cancer,” the world goes blurry. You hear your name, your diagnosis, and then… nothing. It’s like your brain shuts down to protect you.

I remember sitting in that room, nodding as my doctor spoke, but absorbing almost none of it. I was terrified, overwhelmed, and unsure of what questions I should even ask.

If you’re newly diagnosed and preparing for your first appointment — whether with your medical oncologist or surgical oncologist — this list is for you. These are the questions I wish someone had handed me. They cover hair preservation, chemotherapy preparation, symptom management, medication, fertility, menopause, and more.

Bring this with you. Print it. Screenshot it. Hand it to your doctor if you lose your words. You deserve clarity, guidance, and support from day one.

Understanding Your Diagnosis

• Can you explain my diagnosis in simple terms?
• What stage is my cancer, and what does that mean for my treatment options?
• Has my cancer spread to lymph nodes or other areas?
• Do I need any additional scans, biopsies, or tests before we begin treatment?
• Are there different treatment paths available, or is this the standard of care for my diagnosis?

Treatment Plan Overview

• What is the goal of my treatment — cure, control, or symptom management?
• What treatments are you recommending (surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, hormone therapy, targeted therapy)?
• Which will come first — surgery or chemotherapy — and why?
• How long will my overall treatment plan last?
• How often will I need to come in, and for how many cycles or sessions?

Hair Preservation & Hair Loss

Hair is a big part of our identity, and it’s okay if this is one of your biggest fears. Here are questions you can ask:

• Will this treatment cause hair loss on my scalp? What about brows and lashes?
• Am I a candidate for cold capping or scalp cooling to help preserve hair?
• If I choose to cold cap, where can I do that and when do I need to schedule it?
• Is there a recommended place or program for wigs, toppers, or head coverings?
• Should I cut my hair short before treatment begins?
• Do you have any guidance on gentle hair care during chemotherapy?

Medications & Pre-Chemo Preparation

Always confirm medications and supplements with your doctor or oncology team. These questions are meant to open the conversation, not to replace medical advice.

• Are there any over-the-counter medications you recommend I have on hand before starting chemo?
• Is it appropriate for me to take Claritin around white blood cell–boosting injections (like Neulasta) to help with bone pain?
• Should I consider medications like Nexium, Pepcid, or omeprazole to help protect my stomach during treatment?
• Which pain relievers are safe for me: Tylenol, ibuprofen, or something else?
• Should I start a stool softener, laxative, or probiotic before treatment to prevent constipation or GI issues?
• Are there vitamins, supplements, or herbal products I should stop taking before chemo starts?
• What anti-nausea medications will I receive on chemo day, and will I have prescriptions to take at home?
• Can you explain exactly how and when to take my anti-nausea medications once I’m home?

Chemotherapy: What to Expect

• When will chemotherapy start, and how often will I receive it?
• How long will each infusion visit last?
• Will I need a port, and what are the pros and cons?
• Can I drive myself home after chemo, or should someone come with me?
• What side effects are most common with the specific regimen you’re recommending?
• Which side effects are urgent and require me to call the office or go to the ER?
• What should I do if I develop a fever, chills, or signs of infection?

Managing Side Effects & Daily Life

• What can I do to reduce nausea, fatigue, or brain fog during treatment?
• Are there foods or drinks you recommend I avoid or focus on?
• Is it safe to exercise, and if so, what kind and how much is appropriate?
• Can I continue working during treatment, and what should I tell my employer?
• Are there specific mouthwashes or dental products I should use or avoid?
• How can I protect my nails, skin, and lips during chemo?

Fertility, Menopause & Hormone Changes

Many women are thrown into surgical or chemical menopause because of treatment. It’s important to ask:

• Will this treatment affect my fertility?
• Should I speak with a fertility specialist before starting treatment?
• Is this treatment likely to send me into early menopause?
• What menopause symptoms should I expect (hot flashes, vaginal dryness, mood changes, sleep problems)?
• What options do I have to manage these symptoms safely with my cancer type?
• Are vaginal moisturizers or non-hormonal lubricants safe for me to use?

Support, Mental Health & Resources

• Is there a nurse navigator, social worker, or patient educator I can speak with?
• Are there local or online support groups you recommend?
• Do you have any vetted resources for wigs, mastectomy bras, lymphedema sleeves, or compression garments?
• Who do I contact if I’m struggling emotionally or feel like I’m not coping well?
• Is there someone who can help me with financial assistance, disability paperwork, or grants if I need them?

Practical Tips for the Appointment

Beyond the questions, here are a few things that can make that first visit more manageable:

• Bring someone with you — a friend, partner, or family member who can take notes and listen when your brain shuts down.
• Write your questions down ahead of time and hand the list to your doctor at the beginning of the appointment.
• Ask if you can record the conversation on your phone (if allowed), so you can replay it later when you’re calmer.
• Ask for printed information about your diagnosis and treatment so you can digest it at home.

You Deserve Clarity

Walking into that first appointment is one of the bravest things you will ever do. You don’t have to remember everything. You don’t have to say everything perfectly. You just have to show up as you are and know that it’s okay to ask for help, to ask for repetition, and to ask for options.

These questions are not a test. They’re a starting point. Use what feels right for you, cross out what doesn’t, and add your own.

And if no one has told you yet today: you are not alone in this. Re-Femme is here to help you feel informed, supported, and a little less overwhelmed — one question at a time.