Hormone Therapy: What No One Told Me About Life After Treatment

By Kelly Rovetto, Founder of Re-Femme • Written from a patient’s perspective, not as medical advice. Always talk to your oncology team about your specific treatment.

When I finished chemotherapy, I thought the hardest part was over. I rang the bell, hugged my nurses, took the photos, and everyone kept saying, “You’re done!”

But very quietly, almost casually, my doctor said, “We’ll also be starting you on hormone therapy.”

I didn’t know it then, but this “little pill” (or injection, patch, or shot, depending on the woman) would shape my life for years to come. And no one really prepared me for what that would feel like.

Why Am I On Hormone Therapy?

I’m not a doctor, but here’s how I understand it in simple, patient language.

My cancer, like so many breast and gynecologic cancers, was hormone-driven. That means hormones like estrogen or progesterone acted like “fuel” for the cancer cells. My cancer cells had receptors that loved to latch onto these hormones and grow.

So even after chemo, surgery, or radiation, there is still a risk that tiny cancer cells could be hiding somewhere in the body. Hormone therapy — medications like Tamoxifen, aromatase inhibitors (Letrozole, Anastrozole, Exemestane), or ovarian suppression — help by:

• Lowering the amount of certain hormones in your body, or
• Blocking those hormones from attaching to cancer cells

In other words, if hormones were the “gasoline,” hormone therapy is like turning off the fuel line. It’s one of the most important tools we have to help reduce the risk of the cancer coming back.

Knowing why we take it matters. But understanding it doesn’t always make living with the side effects easier.

What Hormone Therapy Feels Like: A Patient’s Experience

Doctors talk about hormone therapy in terms of risk reduction, percentages, and long-term survival. All of that is important. But I want to talk about what it’s like to actually live in a body on hormone therapy — day after day.

1. The Hot Flashes That Come Out of Nowhere

Hot flashes are more than just “feeling warm.” They can feel like a wave of heat that starts in your chest and rises to your face, neck, and scalp. Sometimes your heart races. Sometimes you sweat through your clothes. Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night and feel like you’re on fire.

It’s jarring. It can be embarrassing. It can interrupt meetings, conversations, and sleep. You start carrying fans, dressing in layers, and always looking for the nearest thermostat.

2. The Joint Pain and Stiffness

Many women describe waking up and feeling 20 years older than they are. Knees, hips, fingers, and feet can feel stiff and achy, especially in the morning or after sitting.

Suddenly, getting out of bed, going up stairs, or going for a walk takes more effort. You may still move your body, but the way you move changes. Stretching, gentle exercise, and heat become part of your routine — not as a wellness trend, but as survival tools.

3. Mood Changes, Anxiety, and Brain Fog

Hormones don’t just affect our bodies — they affect our mood and mind. On hormone therapy, you might notice:

• Increased irritability
• Feeling more emotional than usual
• Anxiety or internal restlessness
• Difficulty concentrating or “brain fog”

It can feel confusing when your heart and your head don’t line up. You know you’re grateful to be alive, but you also feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or unlike yourself. Both can be true at the same time.

4. Changes in Libido and Intimacy

This is the part almost no one wants to talk about — but many of us live it quietly.

Hormone therapy can lower libido, cause vaginal dryness, and make sex uncomfortable or even painful. When your hormones shift suddenly, your body can feel less responsive, and you may feel disconnected from your own desire.

This doesn’t just affect you physically — it impacts how you feel in your partnership, in your body, and in your sense of femininity. You might feel guilty for not “wanting” intimacy or worried about how your partner sees you now.

5. Fatigue, Sleep Changes, and Just Feeling “Off”

Hormone therapy can also contribute to:

• Trouble falling or staying asleep
• Waking up from hot flashes or night sweats
• Feeling drained or tired, even with rest
• Feeling like your body is always slightly out of balance

Put all of this together — the hot flashes, joint pain, mood shifts, intimacy changes, and fatigue — and it’s easy to see why hormone therapy can feel like a second, quieter battle after the “big” treatments are done.

The Emotional Side: When Femininity Feels Different

Cancer already tries to strip away so many parts of our femininity — our hair, our breasts, our energy. Hormone therapy adds another layer by affecting our hormones, sexuality, and mood.

It’s normal to wonder:

• “Will I ever feel like myself again?”
• “Is this just who I am now?”
• “Why don’t I feel ‘womanly’ anymore?”

Those questions don’t make you ungrateful. They make you human.

Hormone therapy is a reminder that survivorship isn’t always a straight upward line. Sometimes it’s a stretch of road that’s bumpy, uneven, and full of adjustments.

Finding Ways to Cope and Feel Like Yourself Again

I can’t speak for every woman, and I’m not here to give medical advice. But I can share some things that have helped me — and that might help you start a conversation with your care team or support network.

• Talking honestly with your oncologist: Side effects are real. You don’t have to “tough it out” in silence. Sometimes medications can be adjusted, supportive treatments can be added, or referrals can be made (for example, to pelvic floor therapy, sexual health specialists, or menopause experts).
• Cooling tools: Fans, cooling pillows, breathable fabrics, and layering clothes can make sudden hot flashes more manageable.
• Gentle movement: Walking, stretching, yoga, or low-impact exercise can help with stiffness and mood — always at your own pace and with your doctor’s clearance.
• Support for intimacy: Lubricants, vaginal moisturizers, open communication with your partner, and guidance from a sexual health provider can help you slowly rebuild comfort and connection.
• Clean, feel-good beauty rituals: A soft robe, a beautiful moisturizer, clean makeup, or a simple lash or brow product can be small but powerful reminders that you’re still you — still worthy of feeling beautiful.
• Emotional support: Therapy, support groups, and talking with other survivors who are also on hormone therapy can make you feel less alone in this part of the journey.

Most importantly, give yourself grace. You are navigating treatment, side effects, and a brand-new version of your life all at once.

Why Hormone Therapy Matters — And Why Your Experience Matters Too

Hormone therapy is powerful. For many of us with hormone-driven cancers, it’s one of the best tools we have to help reduce the risk of recurrence. That matters. It’s worth talking about. It’s worth honoring.

But your experience on hormone therapy matters just as much.

You’re allowed to say:

• “I’m grateful for this treatment and I’m struggling with the side effects.”
• “I want to lower my risk of recurrence and I want support in feeling like myself again.”
• “I understand why I’m on this medication and I need help navigating what it’s doing to my body and mind.”

Two truths can exist at once: you can be thankful for hormone therapy and still find it really, really hard.

You’re Not Alone in This Part of the Journey

If you’re reading this and nodding along, please know this:

You are not dramatic. You are not weak. You are not alone.

You are a woman who has already survived so much — and now you’re navigating a long-term treatment that doesn’t always come with confetti and celebration, but quietly, day after day.

Hormone therapy is part of the story of why you’re still here. And you deserve support, comfort, and community in this chapter too.

That’s one of the reasons I created Re-Femme — to support women not just during chemo or surgery, but through the long, often invisible seasons like hormone therapy, where our bodies and identities are still adjusting.

You are still you. Still worthy of softness, beauty, and care. And you don’t have to walk this part alone.

This blog is based on personal experience and shared stories from survivors. It is not medical advice. Always talk to your oncology team before making any decisions about your treatment.