My First Hair Wash After Chemotherapy

By Kelly Rovetto, Founder of Re-Femme

There are moments in the cancer journey that no one really prepares you for. One of the hardest for me was something that seems so simple from the outside:

My first hair wash after my first chemotherapy treatment.

I wasn’t afraid of the water. I wasn’t afraid of the shampoo. I was afraid of what might be left in my hands when I rinsed. I knew this could be the beginning of losing my hair, and the thought of that filled me with intense fear.

In that moment, I went back to the tips other survivors had shared with me. I couldn’t control what chemo was doing inside my body, but I could control how gently I cared for myself on the outside.

These are the steps I followed that day and throughout treatment. My hope is that they help you feel a little more prepared and a lot less alone.

Use Lukewarm Water

I let the water run until it was just barely warm — not hot. Hot water can be harsh on an already sensitive scalp. Lukewarm water is kinder, gentler, and less shocking to your skin and hair follicles.

Be Extra Gentle With Your Scalp

I didn’t scrub. I didn’t massage my scalp the way I used to. Instead, I:

• Let the water flow naturally over my hair.
• Used a small amount of gentle shampoo.
• Avoided aggressive rubbing at the roots.
• Focused more on the lengths and ends of my hair.

I used my hands almost like I was smoothing lotion onto something delicate, not scrubbing something dirty. Your scalp is working hard right now. Treat it with softness.

Use Your Hands Instead of a Towel

When it was time to “dry” my hair, I changed my usual routine completely. Instead of wrapping my hair in a towel and squeezing, I:

• Let the water drip out on its own for a moment.
• Gently pressed my hair between my hands to remove excess water.
• Avoided twisting, wringing, or rubbing with a towel.

The goal was simple: reduce as much pulling and friction on my scalp as possible.

Comb, Don’t Brush

After washing, I swapped my brush for a wide-tooth comb. This made a huge difference. Here’s how I handled it:

• I held my hair near the top with one hand to support it and protect my scalp.
• With the other hand, I gently combed the ends first, working my way up slowly.
• If I hit a tangle, I didn’t force it. I took my time.

Again, the idea was to avoid anything that could tug at the hair follicle or irritate my scalp.

Style: Low and Loose

When my hair was as dry as I could get it, I kept styling very simple. I usually:

• Tied my hair back into a loose, low ponytail.
• Avoided tight elastics, buns, or high ponytails that might pull on the roots.

Keeping it low and gentle helped me feel put together without putting extra stress on my hair or scalp.

Remember: This Is Temporary

Even with all the care in the world, whether you decide to cold cap or not, there is still a possibility you will lose hair. Nothing can fully prepare you for that moment. But there are a few things you can hold onto:

• This is temporary. Hair loss is a season, not your forever.
• You are still you. Your worth, your beauty, your identity do not live in your hair.
• You can control small things. How gently you treat your scalp, what products you use, how you speak to yourself in the mirror — these are choices that belong to you.

On the days when hair came out in my hands, I had to remind myself over and over: This is temporary. I will get through this. And if you’re reading this, you will too.

Whether you choose to cold cap or not, you are not alone in this experience. Control what you can control. Be gentle with your hair, your scalp, and most importantly — your heart.

My hope is that these small tips, born out of a very frightening moment, make your first hair wash after chemo just a little less scary.